5 Reasons I was afraid of getting married (Why people fear marriage)

two rings laying on a bible

Ever thought about why people fear marriage? Let’s see whether you can relate to today’s post. 

I remember the day he proposed to me as if it were yesterday! I loved him, but on the other hand, I wasn’t sure I wanted to marry him. Awkward…right? But I was one of those people who are afraid of marriage.

That’s why I’m discussing it today! Maybe you are a lady who isn’t sure if you want to get married or someone who’s been in the same shoes as me. Let’s see if you can relate and see what the problem is.

Why people fear marriage

1. Negative experiences with a marriage that one has had in one's family or immediate environment

That was the main reason I dreaded marriage.

I was the product of a broken marriage where things never seemed to work out. And being raised by a single mother and seeing how hard it was for her, I feared going through the same thing.

I don’t think it just happened to me because I’ve listened to other people share how negative they are towards marriage for the same reason.

Even if this has happened to you, don’t let it affect your future. The future of every each one of us is written differently. Therefore, learn to look on the bright side and hope for the best.

2. Thinking it's better to live alone

No doubt the idea of being tied to one person makes some of us think it’s better to live alone.

After living alone for some time, I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with another person around me every time. After all, no one wants to be told what to do or notify someone when they want to leave or do something.

All in all, we need to realize that this life is all about sacrifice, especially in marriage.

By doing that, you can change the way you see things and go into marriage with positivity.

You learn to deal with things you thought you couldn’t deal with through communication and mutual understanding.

3. My partner will change

Reason number 3 why people fear marriage is the thought that your partner might change.

I heard the phrase that “you never know someone until you start living with them,” and it scared the hell out of me.

This created negative thoughts such as maybe he’ll mistreat me, disrespect me, or do other bad things to me.

But I’ve turned those thoughts around by applying “everything is a risk” – mind you, I’m not asking you to do that and use it to someone you just met overnight. But if you’ve been with someone for a while, you know them, and they respect you, don’t let fear stop you from pursuing something concrete with them.

4. Fear of breakup

I understand that separation/divorce is a part of reality, and sometimes we have no choice. But it’s something we all don’t want in our marriages. We all desire to be married to one person for the rest of our lives.

But the fact is, that’s not guaranteed. Therefore, we should push that fear aside. Just be hopeful and do what you can to make your marriage work.

5. I won't look the same

The last point why people are afraid of marriage is the change in their appearance. This may not be new to you. You may have heard it from some Millenials.

We all always want to look cute 16 and still be 21.

I’ve always heard that you forget yourself once you get married and end up not looking as “good” as you did before. Stories like that make us afraid of marriage, thinking that our partners will leave us once these changes happen.

The fact is, things will change – physically, mentally, or emotionally. But there is one thing we need to know: Marriage is a gamble. You are betting that your love for the person you marry will grow and adjust as your partner grows and adapts. It’s up to you how you handle the change.

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